life coaching techniques skills

Exploring Commitment Phobia in Coaching

Unlocking Commitment: A Journey Every Coach Must Take Dear fellow coaches, I trust this message finds you well and thriving in your coaching journey. Today, I’m excited to share some insights from our latest podcast episode—a conversation that delved deep into a topic that’s often overlooked but profoundly impactful: commitment. The Commitment Conundrum As a

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Why Your Sales Process Isn’t Working

Mastery Insights: Why Your Coaching Sales Process Isn’t Working In the latest episode of “The Coaches Journey Podcast,” hosts Daniel Fernandes and Faisal Ensaun delve into a topic that resonates with a number of coaches: why your sales process isn’t working. The episode kicks off with an introduction from the narrator, outlining the podcast’s mission: celebrating

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Why Your Ideal Client Might Not Be Your Ideal Client: A Three-Part Framework

Welcome aboard, fellow beginner coaches! As you embark on your coaching journey, one of the pivotal factors that will shape your success is understanding and identifying your ideal clients. In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve into the intricacies of this process, equipping you with the tools and insights you need to navigate the path towards

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6 Non-Negotiable Skills of an Extraordinary Coach

Congratulations on taking the first steps into the world of coaching! As a beginner coach, you’re embarking on a journey filled with opportunities for growth, impact, and success. While starting out may seem daunting, adopting certain practices can set you on the path to becoming extraordinary in your field. In this blog, we’ll explore five

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Navigating the Coaching Journey: Harnessing the Power of Questions

As a coach, your journey is deeply intertwined with the art of asking the right questions. In your pursuit of guiding clients towards breakthroughs and success, understanding the significance of questions is paramount. Let’s delve into the insights shared by Dr. Sheri Fluellen and Daniel Fernandes on “The Coaches Journey Podcast,” where they uncovered four

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Unpacking Relationship Misalignment: Understanding Expectations and Roles

Embarking on the journey of becoming a life coach is an exhilarating adventure filled with the promise of helping others achieve their goals and aspirations. However, as you delve deeper into the intricacies of coaching, you’ll soon realize that relationships play a pivotal role in your clients’ journeys to personal growth and fulfillment. In this

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Mastering the Art of Active Listening: Key Components for Coaches

As a new life coach embarking on your journey, mastering the art of active listening is crucial to building a successful coaching practice. Active listening involves much more than just hearing what your clients say; it requires you to fully engage, understand, and empathize with your clients. In this expanded blog post, we’ll explore the

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Navigating Potential: A Deep Dive into Coaches’ Impact and Growth

Introduction

In the ever-evolving world of coaching, the journey towards realizing potential, both for clients and coaches themselves, remains a central theme. The latest episode from the Coaches Journey Podcast delves into this intricate dance of potential, exploring not just how coaches can guide their clients toward their fullest selves but also how this process influences the coaches’ personal and professional growth. Hosts Faisal Ensaun and Daniel Fernandes, shed light on the complexities and triumphs embedded in the coaching profession.

The Essence of Coaching: Unlocking Client Potential

At its core, coaching is about recognizing the latent potential within each individual and devising strategies to bring this potential to the forefront. Faisal elucidates this beautifully by discussing the initial struggles of launching the podcast and the learning curves involved. This narrative seamlessly transitions into a profound discussion on the goal of coaching: to navigate clients towards realizing their own potential.

The concept of potential, as discussed by Daniel Fernandes, isn’t confined to a finite destination but is an ever-expanding horizon. It’s about pushing beyond the visible limits, challenging the status quo, and asking, “What more can I achieve?” This approach not only applies to clients but is equally relevant to coaches. The journey is a mutual one, where both parties grow, learn, and transcend their previous selves.

Reflecting on the Coach’s Growth: A Two-Way Street

An interesting turn in the conversation highlights a crucial aspect often overlooked: the coach’s growth. The dialogue between Faisal and Daniel touches upon the transformation that coaches undergo through the very act of coaching. It’s a journey of introspection, facing one’s own vulnerabilities, and emerging stronger, more empathetic, and more attuned to the nuances of human potential.

This reciprocal growth is the cornerstone of effective coaching. It’s about not just seeing but also nurturing potential – not only in clients but within oneself. The narrative beautifully transitions from coaching tactics and strategies to a more profound exploration of what it means to be a coach in pursuit of optimizing human potential.

Expanding the Scope: Beyond Individual Growth to Collective Potential

Towards the latter part of their discussion, Faisal and Daniel delve into a fascinating expansion of the idea of potential. They propose that coaching doesn’t just have a transformative impact on individuals but can ripple outwards, influencing communities, societies, and ultimately, humanity itself. This broader perspective prompts listeners to consider the profound implications of coaching on a macro scale.

Conclusion: The Ethical and Business Dimensions of Coaching

The podcast wraps up with a thought-provoking look into the ethical dimensions of coaching. Faisal and Daniel discuss the importance of honesty and alignment in the coach-client relationship. They emphasize that true coaching goes beyond mere transactional relationships to meaningful exchanges that truly honor the client’s journey towards their potential.

Additionally, they touch upon the importance of a coach’s presence online and the evolution of branding, not for mercenary reasons but as an extension of their mission to reach and inspire even more people.

Listen to the episode here: https://youtu.be/EG1r8p44eq0

Transcript:
[00:00:00] You’re listening to the coach’s journey podcast, exposing the struggles and celebrating the successes in the life of coaches who are action takers and creating authentic impact in today’s world. Whether you’re just starting out, expanding your reach or exploding your impact, you’re in the right place right now.

Stay tuned and be sure to subscribe to this podcast. Now, here are your hosts of the coach’s journey podcast.

All right, amazing coaches. If you’ve been kind of hanging around, you’ve found the link somehow and you’re seeing a struggling. This is fairly new for us. This is like the, I think the third podcast we’re broadcasting on YouTube and then sharing it live in our school group. So we apologize for a little bit of a delay around that.

You can see us working through this as we’re going. We’re excited for our topic today. And our topic is around potential. How do we get our clients to go towards our potential and our assumption go towards their potential? Our [00:01:00] assumption is that. Our highest goal as coaches and even as human beings, we’ll talk about that in a little bit is to get our clients to go towards our potential to towards their potential.

I keep saying our potential go towards their potential, and we want to have a discussion around this, and this is the 6th. Podcast episode that we’re doing that’s following up on what we started with is that we talked about questions. We talked about going deeper with emotions, your emotional intelligence, relationships, all sorts of things that we talked about in the past six sessions.

Now we want to talk about is how do we land this into. Our philosophy as a coach and how does this work with our model when we’re serving clients and what are the things that we need to be aware of? And if you haven’t listened to our podcast before, this is the coaches journey podcast. It’s been sponsored by coaching mastery community.

We’re a community of incredible coaches from all around the world, supporting each other to build our business and craft, refine it as much as we can [00:02:00] to serve our clients at the highest level. We have actually recently moved over to school. You will see the link somewhere below. We actually have a promotion coming up.

It is up right now until April 1st for the first 50 members who join they get it for 27 a month and they get 30 the first 30 days for free. And if you’re already in school, welcome. We’re so excited to have you there. And we’re excited. So excited to support you there. Why don’t we jump into the topic, Daniel?

Thank you.

Yeah. And if you’re watching this on school or not on school, and you think you want to join us in school, we already have filled up 60 percent of our first 50 spots. So you have until April 1st. If you’re watching this after April 1st, you can still join us by going to whatever link in school we have ready at that time.

So, but for now, welcome and let’s talk about potential, the potential of our clients. And how we go about that and why it’s so important. This is, this is such a good topic. I think this is the potential is actually the fundamental foundation. I think of all coaching, if you think about it, [00:03:00] because people come to coaching because they’re going, they want to go in a particular direction or some direction or they need clarity or whatever it is, but it’s all about, I have more potential than I, than I see right now.

Like potential is this fascinating thing. We all have infinite potential, but what is the potential we can reach and expand into today is a different question than what’s our infinite potential, right? So our job as coaches is to assume this client has more potential. That’s why they’re in front of you.

And if you don’t think that, then maybe, you know, that’s, That’s not good for your client, right? Maybe it’s not good for that relationship because even if it comes to you with a very specific goal, like I just want to accomplish this thing, well, they have the potential to accomplish that thing. That’s what I love the word potential, but it can be used in so many different ways.

Even like if you go to physics and talk about potential energy it’s really interesting. It’s like, it has the potential to do work because it has potential energy. What energy can we use to do that? Right? So anyways, it’s really, it’s a really great, I love this word. And if [00:04:00] you don’t like this word as a coach, I’d ask you to reconsider.

You need to learn to love this word, reconsider the

career path or the word.

No, the word potential. Yeah, you gotta, you gotta love the word potential as a coach. That’s my, my personal bias and opinion.

So, and I would go as far as to saying whether they have been my coaches or the amazing coaches that have been around me that I’ve worked with, that I’ve learned from, that have been colleagues that have been mentors, coaches.

And collaborators at the one common theme that I’ve seen over and over is that the best coaches are those who are able to see the potential in others before they can actually see it in themselves. Yeah, and they can actually communicate that energetically. And by the way, this is the part you cannot hide as a coach.

If you don’t believe in your client’s potential, they will read it subconsciously. You don’t, and this is where you’re borderline on the unethical sales process, where if you don’t believe, but you’re saying it just for the process, [00:05:00] for the purpose of sales, just for the purpose of your business, they’ll pick it up.

At one point or another, if they don’t pick it up right away, they will pick it up in the next hour. And plus it affects your ability to serve the client quite a bit. So it will not be a good relationship anyway.

Yeah. You got to believe in the person that you’re selling coaching to. Cause if you don’t, what are you really selling them?

Yeah. It’s like, I don’t believe in this product for you, but go ahead and buy it. Cause I want some money. No, no. Yeah, but let’s, let’s talk about potential and maybe we could dive into there’s, there’s like different aspects of this. I think the first half is like the client’s potential. There’s a whole nother half.

There’s multiple halves, actually, not just two halves. One half is one part I should say is the client’s potential. Another part is the coach’s potential to grow. Cause part of coaching is a growth process for coaches. And. And then there’s also like the, the, the macro version of this is like the human race, we [00:06:00] all have potential and like the lens through which we see the world is what’s possible.

Right. And so it’s like there’s a lens is a coaching lens about potential that applies to clients. Applies to ourselves, but ultimately it comes from the application to all of humanity,

right? And that runs into your philosophy as a human being and your perception as a human. And how do you look at other human beings?

That makes a big difference as to how you approach it. So we can actually approach it in two, three, those three ways. Is that okay? Your client’s potential and your, your general perception and philosophy as a, as a coach, how you look at it from a human perspective.

Yeah. Let’s start with human beings.

Cause that’s kind of sets the foundation for the conversation too. Like I think this is one of the things that drew me into coaching without me realizing it is like, I always saw the potential in people really, really quickly. And to my, to my detriment sometimes, because I would get into, you know business dealings with people who I saw the potential of business deals, but I never thought about the risks that I never thought about the potential for challenges too.

But like, I [00:07:00] always had a tendency, I still do have a tendency to be Ultra optimistic. And that is actually a thing that I have to figure out how to balance out with, with realism and like actual data and risk management. But if you are an optimistic person, you actually, it’s a strength, it’s a superpower, right?

To see, The positives, right. And be able to see like, what’s possible here. I think that’s actually a superpower. I learned to realize that it’s a superpower I have, but every superpower comes with this kryptonite too. So you can lose a lot of money by thinking I’m so optimistic about this stock trade or this business investment or whatever, and you can, you can really lose a lot of money because you didn’t think about all the other things you also need to think about when making those kinds of decisions, but back to the fundamental point is like, I’ve always believed in potential of people.

And I’ve always found, you know, people that, that I meet people in my family, I also think and believe they’re capable of more. They’re capable of whatever it is they’re searching for, even if they have challenges in their [00:08:00] life. And that, that fundamental belief has kind of driven a lot of my interactions over the course of my life.

I think both, both in good ways and in negative ways.

I’m actually going to think through this together with you because it’s bringing up a lot of thoughts around this stuff. My actually, my perspective on this has shifted a lot since I started as a coach, then where it is now for the good or the bad is just, I think also partly it’s experience gives you some, some data.

So I’ll tell you what I used to think. What I used to think, I still think that generally speaking, I exactly the same. I think everybody has the potential for for growth. Everybody has the potential for change. Everybody has the potential. I don’t think that’s specific to 1 person or 1 set of group of people or 1 type of person or anything like that.

But over the course of the past decade that I’ve been doing this work, what you realize is that there are people who are ready for growth, and there are people who are not. And this is the part that actually coaches [00:09:00] miss too because we believe like this is the why we came in because we believe in the potential people so we will go talk to anybody to try to help them.

And that way, but actually, I found that a majority of the people are not ready for that kind of growth. They have the potential, but they, it hasn’t been activated in their own consciousness for them to want it. So they might be somebody who might need to just. Go through whatever they’re going through right now, or maybe they, they, they, they need a social support structure.

They need to just work through whatever they’re working through. Or they might need therapy at some point because they’re struggling with a lot of things, but they’re, Few, very few people that I’ve met that are actually ready to grow. Even those who say that they’re ready to grow. I’ve learned to check in with them multiple times and challenge them in that area because people say a lot of things, but when it comes to their actions, they show the complete opposite of it a lot of times.

And, and, and nowadays, especially we live in the world of personal development has become a big thing. Like [00:10:00] self help has become a bigger, relatively bigger thing, and at least in certain industries, in certain groups. So it’s also become like a hip thing to say that I want to grow and I want to do this, but when you actually get down to it, it’s very few people who actually see that, you know what, they have the potential to be something or do something or contribute in a way or create something that matters.

And they have a sense of purpose around, or at least they’re seeking, seeking that. And that actually puts you in a very, already puts you in a niche environment as a coach. We’re not even talking about your niche, but like coaching is a niche thing. At least that’s been my experience so far. So it’s shifted a lot towards a bit like I qualify a lot more who I want to work with now versus in the past I was, I was ready to coach anybody.

Coach anybody,

even you could talk and walk, not walk, but could talk.

It was, yeah, and today I would [00:11:00] agree with totally with what you said for me, it’s, it’s been, I can coach anybody at the beginning and now I’m realizing you have to add a couple of things who is ready to learn or is ready to grow and who wants to grow and and also is a good match for me as a coach.

There’s so many other qualifiers that I’ve added to that as I learned by trying to, you know, coach everybody, including including family members who don’t want to be coached. And actually going back to what you said, for those who are ready for growth, I remember one of my first experiences with with.

Getting help from a professional was I went to therapy a long time ago for the first time cause I was struggling with some things in relationships and and turns out that I actually needed that. I didn’t know. So, but fortunately I had benefits through work and that allowed me to afford to go.

Cause I wasn’t like about to put money into my own girl at the time. I was like, I’m paying what? It was like, it was like [00:12:00] 50 to 60 an hour or something. I don’t know. And I still had to copay, but it was like a small, like, okay, I’m willing to like not invest very much in this. I sensed the need for growth.

But when I went in there, I remember that first session I said to him, like, what I really want is you to push me. And then, and he said, okay. And then, so then later on in the sessions, as we continued, he said, remember, you told me you wanted me to push you. This is me pushing you. And I’m like, Oh, okay.

You’re right. And actually it did work to some degree for me to have said that because it indicated like there’s something in me that wanted to grow, but I wasn’t like quite ready. And so there’s like, it’s not very obvious, like 100 percent clear. Are you ready to grow? Sometimes you have to like take those initial first little steps.

And then somebody else can help you open that door. So ready to grow is not this binary yes or no. It’s sometimes it’s like, it’s a journey in itself.

And I want to share a little bit in my, how I look at that in my personal life. So my wife jokes around about this sometimes. So I’ll say something in a, in a social setting with my family and friends, and she’d be like, Oh, [00:13:00] he, he’s just, he’s just putting the seeds in there or sowing the seeds in there because I’ve said that to her before, but she’s kind of spelling my beans because I will share something.

I’ll ask something just to see if anybody I’ll, I’ll recommend something anybody’s interested in. So I think that everybody has a potential, but I want to see. Behavior change. I want to see their interests in the past. It’d be like, let’s let’s go work through this. No, I will. I will ask a question of somebody.

If I see something or hear something, I’ll share a perspective or I’ll say something and I’ll see what. what happens with somebody when they do it. And I, and I will watch. And I see that there is a point that happens where you will see it. Then I, that happened with a few of my family members and friends that they started looking into certain books.

They started talking about it more. They’re the ones who became interested in and actually ended up working with a couple of them over the past few years. And they’ve grown so much. It’s just incredible blows my mind when I look at it. But I remember in the beginning when I used to try to, [00:14:00] Help anybody, it would completely go the wrong way because they weren’t even ready.

And I didn’t understand that the whole process of coaching is for those who are actually ready to grow. And I think Dr. Sherry shared the good distinction is that therapy might be that you’re going from struggling to average. Coaching might be from average to great. And most people are not ready to go beyond average, to be honest, they’re struggling with the average.

They don’t even know what that looks like past that. So as a human being, maybe as a leader, you want to sow the seeds, you want to share with, like, you want to get, see where the limits that people, people are operating and maybe push that a little bit, but not from a coach’s point of view, but more from a leader point of view or a human point of view to see who’s ready.

And those are usually the leaders in any group and any community who are ready to actually grow

that that’s actually the qualifier to like the potential question like everybody has potential but who do you as a coach want to work with is it’s a great question to qualify. [00:15:00] That like tendency to see potential in everything, which is an unqualifying mean to narrow it down so you can live a life and run a business that makes sense, right?

That is actually beneficial to you and the people around you. It’s not always beneficial to you to try and coach everybody all the time, even though you can try.

And, and actually let’s address this part because a lot of coaches are heart centered. They feel weird about, Oh, just making it about money and business.

And I actually learned this from Brandon Burchard. I liked it the way he framed it a few years ago. He’s like, if you really want to help everybody else, go put out content, go put out information, go put out a lot of stuff where you’re not involved in. And that’s actually part of the reason why, when I started my YouTube channels, like, It’s, initially I started doing that for people who wanted to learn more about the things that I was sharing and my clients.

So I started, and I actually didn’t want to talk as much in my own coaching calls because I noticed that I had the need to share a lot of times. Like, that’s my problem. I need to find a channel for that. So I [00:16:00] started my YouTube channel. And all the things that I’m creating, my courses, my YouTube channel, all groups, everything else, those are there for people, whether they can afford it or not, they, they can, they can do it at their pace.

And if they feel connected to me, they will go through that. So that alleviates my, my thing around is, okay, well, so even if I go through a coaching call, I realize it’s not the right person. I will send them all those resources. I will give people access to a lot of my stuff. Just like when you’re ready, let’s get on a call again, but I don’t feel like you’re in this.

you might be the right fit for, for, for this kind of coaching. And I’ve said that to a few of my, my, a few of the potential clients that I connected with. So that might be, if you have that, then it’s actually your responsibility to create that for your clients.

Yeah. Yeah. And actually I do have that, but it’s interesting.

We have different sort of historical businesses here. So like, I, I am not on social media yet.

This will be interesting to hear what you think. Yeah. I’m

working on a plan to do that. And so like, [00:17:00] I don’t actually like I I’ve avoided social media for a long, long time. And you can actually run a business, which I do a coaching business without any social media, you don’t have to do it, but I’ve been feeling more and more recently.

Like I, I feel very successful as a coach without that, but I’ve been feeling more recently that I need to step up my game in terms of the impact that I can make. Cause I’m recognizing I have a desire to impact more people, but not necessarily a desire to spend all my time coaching. Those people who don’t like, I, it’s more like I love coaching.

I will spend more time coaching. What I’m still, I think I’m saying is social media is an opportunity to spread a message. And it doesn’t have to be like, Oh, I’m going on Tik TOK or I’m going on YouTube or something specific about social media, there’s a way to share impactful things with people to help them go towards their potential.

Not necessarily to coach with me because like, yeah, sure. Some of these people will coach [00:18:00] with me and that’s great. You don’t need to have clients, but I can have clients without. That funnel at all. So there’s two, there’s actually two things. One is to be a voice in the ecosystem to actually contribute to the positive and helping people go towards their potential in some way.

Rather than just all the random, you know, stuff that’s not leading them toward the potential. And then secondly, as a coach, I’m getting to the level where I feel like I need to brand myself and have an actual credibility presence because the clients I’m working with are, they’re, they’re more, they’re higher performing, they’re more connected, they’re more successful.

And so somebody who’s coming in to meet me. Yeah, I, like I haven’t, I’ve been in the past, I’ve been a lot like, you know, the movie hitch where Will Smith is like this, like super high end coach for like very specific people. And actually I really liked that movie and like that character, but he has this little card here, gives this card to your friend.

And it’s like very, it’s like, he’s like the greatest secret. Right. And I, I kind of related to that in a way. Like, I don’t feel [00:19:00] like I want to engage in all the stuff that like typically you do coaching, but now I’m like, I’m ready for like a little bit more. Of a presence online. So that’s a couple of reasons why I’m planning out how to do this for myself.

And I want to be just, you know, transparent with that. I haven’t done it. So you can run a business that creates, that helps achieve potential for people either way. You know,

and in fact, actually social media might be the, the most inefficient way to do that in the beginning. Social media is always a long term strategy.

if you start in business, you want to leverage your network, wherever you’re, whatever you’re a part of. And we’ve gone in detail around that when we talked about the marketing. And so definitely watch the podcast around marketing. We talk a lot about what are the, what are the best ways to get clients?

It’s not always social media. I would say, I will say this, there’s something that has shifted in the world, the online world and social media that has, that’s been happening the past year or two, that was not happening a decade ago. When I started out, when I started out, it wasn’t. [00:20:00] necessary for you to get to, to, even now, it’s not necessary for you to get clients, but branding has shifted a lot.

Nowadays, there’s the, the concept branding has become not just for those who build a business, even you, if you’re looking for a job. You need to have some kind of presence online, whether it’s on LinkedIn or somewhere. So people that kind of partially becomes your resume, your LinkedIn has become your, your card.

So every business really, really good brands and businesses that I’m following just the past couple of years, their narrative has shifted. He’s like a few years ago, I would have said, you don’t need to be on social media now. It’s absolutely necessary for you to build a brand and a brand is a long term strategy.

It’s not a strategy for you to get clients. Now it’s a long term strategy.

That’s exactly what I’m feeling. It’s like, the thing I was describing before is exactly that. It’s I feel the need to have a cohesive personal brand online in some form that aligns with who I am. And so that takes some, some thought and strategy and planning.

And that’s the stage I’m at now. So by the [00:21:00] end of probably this year, you’ll probably see a lot more of my brand, but right now

I’m excited for them.

Just kind of invisible.

Well, on your own personal coaching in your own personal coaching business. So, and this is a part, like we want to communicate is that one of the reasons why our community is really powerful is that we didn’t build coaching master community because we’re these business coaches who are training other coaches because this is our primary thing.

And there’s a weird misunderstanding conception in the coaching world is that for you to make money, you need to be a business coach. It’s actually not true. My business coaching for me has been there for the past couple of years. Most of my. Career in the coaching world has been high performance coaching, mindset coaching, whatever you want to call it.

That’s where I’ve, I’ve created my impact. That’s where I’ve created my financial gains. Business coaching can be useful if that’s what you feel called towards. I felt called towards it, but us as a community, all, every member I think every [00:22:00] member has started as a life coach, transformational code mindset coach.

They have actually started to, they, we’ve all built our businesses based on that. So Our business coaching is coming from the frame of it. We know the experience of being a mindset coach, and that’s a very important. This, by the way, the business coaches that I’ve hired for myself, I’ve made sure that they’ve been a life coach or a mindset coach for a while, because that makes a difference in how they direct you.

Yeah. I love that. Which brings us all the way back to our original point, like potential, which Part of my potential is to have a better, bigger online brand to support the things that I’m capable of doing in life, which requires that level of branding and credibility that I want to build for myself, you know, so going back to the potential of other people, this kind of like touches on the other two points, which is the potential that I have as a coach, as well as the potential of my clients that I believe in, right?

So let’s maybe instead of talking about just general potential, let’s get into [00:23:00] like potential of our clients and ourselves, because I think there’s a. There’s a huge link between those two things. If you believe in like, and this happened to me as I grew in personal development, I never saw myself in the way that I saw other people in terms of potential.

Like I, I had to raise my own confidence. Like I would believe in other people’s potential. Like even in dating, I would date people who I really believed in. I just didn’t believe in myself. You don’t know enough to have the confidence to, you Be able to believe that I could make a long term relationship work or that I wouldn’t, you know, that I wouldn’t, you know, be able to live up to that in some ways, there’s so many parts of this, but, but I spent a lot of time believing in other people’s potential.

And then eventually I learned through. Personal development and self growth, the bigger challenge was actually internal that I had to start believing more in my own potential. And then I started writing a life vision and, and started like working on myself and my own, my own challenges and personal [00:24:00] development and over a long period of time, I started to believe more and more of myself and that took a long time more than more than a decade of conscious work to really get to the point where I felt I could have a solid relationship and now I’m married and have kids and stuff, but that took a long time to get to that place.

Where I felt confident enough to make that, make a choice for that. And part of that is believing in myself. And so what came naturally with believing in other people had to raise myself to believe in me and my potential, which if I believe in everyone’s potential, it’s not really consistent to not believe in my own potential, right?

So if you don’t believe enough in yourself, just think about how you think about your clients and is there any congruence there? Cause there was for me. And then once you can live at that level, now you can have your that level too, of believing in their own potential. That’s kind of what was it was an opener for me in in coaching too

So I was I had a session a couple of weeks ago with my coach one of my coaches And there’s a term that came up, which I really liked, at least in my journey.

[00:25:00] And apparently there’s a book on this and I need to read it. It’s for therapists, but I think it’ll be helpful for coaches too. I haven’t read the book yet, but I like, love the term. And he mentioned as he listened to my story and as we were working through it, it was a very emotional session too for me.

He’s like, you know there’s a term for you. And like, what is that? He’s like the wounded healer.

Ah, yeah. That’s the name of the book, right?

That’s the name of the book as well. And he said that there’s a book on that too. But and, and as soon as he said that, it just, it became very clear. And, and, and almost every course that I’ve talked to, they, they’ve gone through this struggle, this journey themselves, they’re aware of it.

And that’s part of the reason what has landed them. So there’s a deeper, there is another motivation that they have inside of themselves. A part of what they’re doing is because they’re going through their own healing journey. And I can tell you, I’ve grown a lot. And my, as a coach, in my sessions, being a coach, I’ve grown.

Quite a bit, just because I’ve worked with clients because your clients will reflect back a lot of your own stuff, especially because you’re going to [00:26:00] attract clients that are similar to you. If you’re doing this authentically, you’re going to attract me. And there’s no way to get away from that. And as you explore their stuff.

Your stuff is going to get explored in the process. And of course you do need to do your own work of getting your coaches in the world. But I think a huge part of our potential is connected to this because I think at some level we recognize as coaches that we need to do this to also grow. And this is, this makes it connects it back to your point, Daniel, that you want to find the right clients for you as well, because it’s also connected to your own growth as much as it is for, for the client.

And the more you grow, the more your client grows.

Then that brings it back a really important point. If you really want to activate your client’s potential, you got to activate your own potential because it’s the mutual growth that actually fuels relationship. Like as the client grows, they’re capable of more.

As you grow, you’re capable of supporting them in more ways and in, in more of what they need because you’re growing together. And oftentimes the growth might align so you can continue growing [00:27:00] together and you keep on re enrolling. And sometimes. It goes away and that client, you’re not the right coach for that client anymore because they’ve grown in a different direction.

I remember this lesson from when I was a little kid and I had a piano teacher. I mean, I don’t think I was little, probably it was in my teens, but I had a piano teacher Melba and she was like a really great piano teacher and she understood I had a lot of potential and she knew that I could do a lot more than I was doing with my previous piano teacher.

So she got me to make a lot of progress in playing piano, but then there came a point where she’s like, actually, I think you need a Different teacher now, so I’ve given you the most that I can give you. And if I really care about your potential and wanting you to grow, you actually might need a different teacher.

And so she sent me to like the, the the conservatory or whatever people. And that was a very different experience because it was like a bigger, bigger company. And that person that I went to was, was able to teach me at a higher level, but what might’ve been missing was that belief in potential as well.

I didn’t necessarily feel the same [00:28:00] energy. And but I, but I remember, I remember thinking to myself like, Oh, she doesn’t want me as a student anymore, but it took me a while to figure out. Actually, she’s really trying to help me. Right. And so like that was that stuck with me. And there’s sometimes you’ll have clients that kind of graduate and that’s okay to graduate.

It’s okay to graduate. Like if you are high school teaching, you’d love teaching high school and somebody wants to graduate and go do something after high school, would you want to support them in that? It’s like, there’s, it’s like, I want high school teachers almost more important. Then the next teacher, because they help you figure out your path.

And so whatever the spectrum of journey is for anybody, you’re a part of that spectrum, those people that came before you, people that are going to come after you, so don’t attach yourself. To their process. The only attachment you need is to their potential.

Yeah. And that makes you a really good business owner Ethical business owner and also a really good coach I some of the best Some of the best experiences i’ve had as a coach and a business owner has been those kind of [00:29:00] experiences where i’ve stopped and said You know what?

I I think you need a different kind of coach a different kind of mentor and i’ve actually connected them with people and i’ve actually I have done the work to to do that and i’ve actually Gotten them to switch purposely for me was like, I think this is this is as far as we can go with this. And and there are times where i’ve actually collab ended up collaborating with my clients because they’ve grown at a very similar level As I am and then I saw their potential there and they saw that they could work with me Like those have been some of the best experiences from my internal My own conscious perspective is, you know what?

I needed to be honest in the process. Like what happened? This is also part of the reason why and this will happen for a lot of coaches many coaches as they grow their business I’ve had to surround myself with other coaches who have either Complementary skills or different kind of models that they’re operating on So I can give the client an expansive experience of coaching.

Like if, and that’s been my experience as well. I’ve needed different kinds of coaches. So I’m like, why don’t I, I’ve had to do a lot of hard work [00:30:00] to find all these coaches in different places. What if I can provide that for my clients in one place? And that’s actually helped me grow as a business owner too, is that I’ve connected and collaborated with coaches who can actually deliver different models of coaching that I, I can’t sometimes, and that’s where my limits are.

Okay.

And actually far as all that gives me an idea for coaching master community. At some point, we’re going to be able to serve clients through the coaches in our community. I mean, we already are doing that in some ways, but we can actually bring all these different types of coaches in to the community to match people, you know, one day in the not too distant future, that will be a reality.

But I wanted to ask you about what some of you said, which is the models. So like we have maybe five, five, five or six minutes here. Let’s talk about our different models for how we help identify or not identify, but how we help clients go towards their potential. Like I want to hear from you with your model and maybe I’ll show you mine.

So

we don’t have a ton of time. So like, just like the I’m

going to try to do this high level cause there’s a lot in there. But what, what I usually, one of the things that [00:31:00] I’m, I’m trying to find out as soon as I get on a call with a person is what is the What is their perception of their world and the limits of their perception?

What is happening and what are they aware of and what are they not? One of the ways to do that in coaching is to find out how far can they, how far out can they see and how clear it is. So I get them to see that. I get them to ask a lot about their long term process, long term part of their world, like their vision, their sense of purpose, how they view the world around them, how they view their relationships, how they view themselves.

I do a lot of discovery in that area to even figure out where they’re at and what are the limits so I know where to push. And we’re to challenge him and and that process can take multiple sessions to go through. To be honest, it starts with the first initial session, but I want to understand what where they are.

And the reason why I do that a lot because the most successful clients that I’ve had or the clients who have grown very fast or those who usually are incredibly clear [00:32:00] long term and they have a sense of purpose and they’re connected deeply with themselves in the world around them. They, they feel a high level of engagement with themselves in the world and wherever there are gaps in there, that helps me push them towards one step at a time towards that process.

And this is why when you do actually coaching, you need quite a bit of time with a client sometimes. And sometimes they’ve done a lot of the work. You just need to kind of give them a nudge in one direction or another. And this is why I have gone on calls in the past decade. There have been at least four or five people that I’ve gone on calls with by the end of the call.

I’ve told them like. I think you got this. I don’t think you need me here, but they got a lot out of that call. They’ve been actually my best supporters in terms of referrals, but I realized that they are in a different place. But they’ve, and then there were other clients who I could see a lot of gaps in what they’re trying to do and a lot of gaps in clarity, a lot of gaps in purpose, and they knew it too.

And the more they realize they’re like, Oh, there’s no way for me to go [00:33:00] towards that potential, unless I’m clear about these areas, unless I’ve experienced these areas, unless I’ve worked. So that, that would be overall my, my, I want to understand these areas with my clients. And a lot of that goes towards discovery.

I love that. I have a very similar, like all the things you said, I think I do. I think my, maybe I’ll talk about it from a. Sort of tactical like logistical version of that which is like, what key things do I put in place? Like, what is my basic model from a tactical perspective? So I want it when I get people into coaching sessions, I want to understand that, yeah, like the perceptions in their future, but I really take, take, take them through, like, what is the future look like for you?

What do you want in your future? And why, right? Like, it’s like, if sometimes people are super clear on that, which they’ve done a lot of work. Yeah. And they need help executing. Sometimes people are super unclear about them. They need help figuring it out first. And so I call it, I call that the ultimate scenario.

It’s a tool I learned from Evan Pagan, which is like, what is your ultimate [00:34:00] scenario, what are you aiming for? What is, and I, sometimes I use the analogy of like, if you’re lost in the forest, you need to know where the river is and just go, and you don’t have to know exactly where the path is. You just go towards the river on the average, you get there.

Right. And what’s the fastest way we can take you to the river. Sometimes I call it the lighthouse. That’s the lighthouse. It’s like, that’s the direction we travel in. And that’s. When you have a clear ultimate scenario, and sometimes it takes a few sessions, like you said, sometimes I have a client who it’s taking like four or five months to get them clarity there because there’s so much there.

And so that’s my one way into potential is to figure out what’s the ultimate scenario and exploring that deeply is really helpful because whatever there is, then this is the other part of my model is that desires are like, like they’re, they’re your desires. They come from within you. If they’re true desires that you have.

Nobody can question them, right? If you have a desire, sometimes I say desires are directly from God. You know, your true deeper desires, they’re coming from God or they’re coming from your potential, whichever way you want to [00:35:00] look at this, like desires are the foundational piece. That everybody gets to decide what that is for themselves.

And that’s part of like the process of figuring out what you actually want, what your true desires are. That’s what leads to the ultimate scenario. So sometimes if they don’t know exactly what their ultimate scenario is, we try and explore their desires in life and what they want. And that kind of helps them build in what do I want my life to look like?

And at some point in the future. And then the other part of it is is sort of a sense of purpose and there’s tools that you can use to help you build purpose statements and so on. But usually it takes at least six months to get into a purpose statement. I find to really like, especially for people who don’t have that much clarity yet getting them to build their ultimate scenario and then going, circling back to purpose.

And then purpose actually re informs the ultimate scenario. So like, if you know what your purpose is, all of a sudden your ultimate scenario may shift. Because actually this part of my ultimate scenario doesn’t really apply because it doesn’t, it’s not that important to me anymore. So you use these couple of tools, purpose and, and like what you want your life to look like to figure out what your goals should be.

And that’s when I take notes on what a [00:36:00] client is actually needs to work towards what that’s to me, that’s their potential. It’s like you have the potential to create a life like this that you want and maybe push them a little farther than that. Say like, is that all you want? You know, is that, is that, is that really it?

And once we know what is really at this stage. Then we can start working towards it, running towards the river, paddling towards the lighthouse. And then every session, sometimes you learn things and it changes. And so like, it’s important to check in often enough with that ultimate scenario and modify because I always call it living document, just like your purpose.

Purpose in your ultimate scenario are living documents that are growing with you. Because as you start to like achieve those things, sometimes new things, new desires surface because they’re based on that new foundation. So. That’s kind of like a little bit of how my model works. And I found that didn’t be particularly effective as well.

I love that. I completely, a lot of overlap

between what you said and what I said though. Yeah.

Yeah. There is. And then you, and then I just wanna add just a couple of points. I love that you said that the, their true deep desires are [00:37:00] they, they come from a deeper source, whether they wanna call it God, the universe, whatever they believe in.

But it comes from a deeper source. But here’s the thing, there’s a subtle advance point in there. Most people’s desires, like most of their desires are connected to their social environment, right? Yeah. Your job as a coach is actually to separate out what they, what truly matters to them from what they think matters to them.

Exactly. That’s why I

say deep desires, right? Yeah. Their true desires, right? Like, not the things that they’re told to want. Yeah.

But, but they can’t differentiate. A lot of clients have no idea how to differentiate. They don’t even have the tools to differentiate. That actually becomes your role as a coach to do deeply explore unusual things that matter to people.

They, you, that will test, that will stand the test of challenge, time, energy, all sorts of things. The things that are not, they, they won’t. And the other the, the, the other thing is around Really exploring all these areas. Doesn’t just mean that we live in the land of future that [00:38:00] actually helps them live.

Actually, they will bring that vision into their life right now. They begin to live it in their identity. So a lot of it becomes about the now, which is really important.

It’s another piece of the model. We don’t have time to talk about all those things.

We don’t have time to talk about all this stuff. And I also want to, there is an aspect of the past, their story comes into it as well.

That is incredibly powerful. And most coaches don’t know how to navigate that because they’re afraid of it from a therapy point of view. But there is a very powerful piece of it. If you don’t explore that, you don’t know how to move people forward. But we’ll, we’ll leave that for another podcast because we’re, we’re coming to the end.

This was just a surface exploration of what, what, how can you go towards helping your clients go towards their potential and how can you view that. From our perspective, we’d love to hear from you. How do you approach it? Because we don’t pretend to know all the answers. This is our experience around this.

How do you approach it with your clients? How do you view it, view it, share your perspective with us so we can all learn from each other. Just a reminder that school is going to [00:39:00] be an incredibly engaged group of coaches who are actually ready to move their business forward. If you’re ready to simplify your life, go on a platform where there are actually engaged coaches.

We’re ready to move their business forward. Then this is for you. There’s a promotion we have until April 1st, 27 per month. Like Daniel said, 60 percent of the spots are filled up already. After that, it will be 47 a month. You can still join wherever you’re watching this. There should be a link underneath.

If you cannot find the link, reach out to us on any of our social media platform, or go to coachingmasterycommunity. com. You can find us.

Cmc. coach forward slash school.

Awesome.

S K O O L.

I should memorize that. Until our next conversation. Hope you have an incredible week. Bye

later. Bye.

You’re listening to the coaches journey podcast.

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