Balancing marriage and a coaching career often feels like walking a tightrope, but having my partner as an ally can make a HUGE difference. Recently, CMC’s leadership team of coaches AND our spouses came together on The Coaches Journey Podcast episode #162, and shared insights of being married to a coach. We explored how coaching impacts our relationships, shaping everything from communication to conflict resolution and shared growth. Ever wondered how coaching skills can both enhance and complicate personal relationships? And vice versa?
1. Listening: The Unsung Hero of Relationships
Faisal has shared that one of the most underrated skills in relationships is listening, and as a coach, “I’ve learned its true power” said Faisal, and his wife, Sara, shared that “Being a coach really requires you to be a good listener.” They shared that this skill “transformed our marriage, allowing us to communicate more meaningfully and empathetically”. As coaches, we’re trained to listen not just with our ears, but with our hearts, creating a space where our partners feel truly heard and valued. It’s amazing how this can turn disagreements into opportunities for connection. Sometimes it’s harder with our families.
Application Tip: Practicing active listening in your personal relationships can make a big difference. When you’re in a conversation with your partner, focus entirely on what they’re telling you first. Reflect back what you hear to ensure understanding and show that you’re genuinely engaged. This simple yet powerful practice can deepen your connection, turning misunderstandings into deeper understanding.
2. The Balance Between Coaching and Personal Life
One challenge we’ve faced is distinguishing between being a coach and a partner. Sheri’s husband JP humorously noted, “Sometimes I don’t know if I’m talking to Sheri or Dr. Sheri!” It’s true—coaches often carry their professional mindset into personal spaces, which can be both a blessing and a curse. While coaching skills can enhance problem-solving and communication, they can sometimes feel intrusive if not balanced well or intentionally and collaboratively. Even a simple venting conversation can quickly turn into an impromptu coaching session, which isn’t always welcome.
Application Tip: Setting boundaries for when and how coaching skills are used at home is crucial. Sheri and JP established a “no-coaching zone” where conversations are purely personal, allowing us to express ourselves without feeling analyzed. This helps maintain a healthy balance and keeps the relationship dynamic. They also have regular check-ins to discuss how well these boundaries are working.
3. The Perks of a Coaching Mindset in Parenting
For Daniel and Kait, coaching extends beyond their marriage too—it influences parenting too. Daniel and Kait shared how a coaching mindset shapes their approach to raising their kids. Kait often says to her son, “You are also a really good listener. You ask really good questions,” which encourages their children to think critically and independently. This approach nurtures a child’s ability to solve problems on their own, a valuable life skill. More recently too, Kait and Daniel coach each other on request… although this used to be unwelcome in the past. It’s a good example for the kids to demonstrate good listening and intentional relationships, knowing it won’t be perfect.
Application Tip: Using open-ended questions with children fosters independence and critical thinking. Encouraging them to explore their thoughts and feelings, and guiding them to find their solutions rather than providing immediate answers, empowers them and nurtures their decision-making skills. Try asking questions like, “What do you think would happen if…?” to encourage exploration. And role model what it looks like in your relationship too.
4. Embracing Continuous Growth
Being married to a coach means embarking on a journey of continuous growth. Sara says of Faisal, “It’s growth to just be his wife!” This journey involves learning, adapting, and evolving together, which strengthens the bond between us. It’s about supporting each other’s personal and professional growth and celebrating each other’s achievements. Sharing goals and milestones has created a shared vision for our future.
We’ve all found that this mindset not only enriches our marriage but also spills over into our professional lives, enhancing our coaching practices.
Application Tip: Schedule regular “growth check-ins” with your partner to discuss personal and professional goals. Use this time to celebrate achievements, identify areas for improvement, and set new objectives together. This practice fosters mutual support and keeps both partners aligned on their shared vision, reinforcing the bond and enhancing both personal and professional growth.
Turning Challenges into Opportunities
Every relationship faces its own set of challenges, but being in a marriage where coaching is a significant part of our lives, we’ve learned to turn these challenges into opportunities. Whether it’s dealing with the stress of balancing work and personal life or navigating financial decisions together, the skills we’ve honed as coaches—like problem-solving and empathy—have provided us with tools to tackle these issues head-on. By seeing each challenge as a potential learning experience, we’ve strengthened our partnership and gained insights that we can share with others in the CMC community.
We share a LOT more behind the scenes and spill all the beans in our podcast episode #162, where we all come together to talk to each other for the first time ever. Listen in to our vulnerable conversation and let us know what you think!
What About Your Relationship?
How has coaching impacted your personal relationships? Share your thoughts by replying with a comment or question.
Join the Conversation!
Reply with your thoughts on this article, and don’t forget to check out our podcast for in-depth explorations specifically for coaches like you.
Keep Coaching,
Daniel & Faisal (PLUS our spouses, Kait & Sara)
Co-Hosts of The Coaches Journey Podcast